


imperator ex cineribus resurget

by cyuuto



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mild Language, OOC characters, blood sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 05:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyuuto/pseuds/cyuuto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slight spoilers for Extra Game. Kuroko sacrifices Hanamiya to unholy beings to bring back his one true love, the other Akashi Seijuurou. I wrote this in like thirty minutes, tops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	imperator ex cineribus resurget

So, when Hanamiya goes to sleep on Friday, he doesn’t really expect to wake up tied to a chair on Saturday. He supposes it’s not too weird, as his teammates always pull pranks on each other, and he knows some people who are into real kinky shit, but what _is_ weird is the fucking pentagram drawn in blood in front of him. He groans. Leave it to Hanamiya to wrong a psychopath.

“Ah, you’ve woken up,” a calm voice says from behind him, and it sure does sound familiar.

Who knew the goody-two-shoes shadow was into bloodplay?

“Mind telling me what this is all about, Tetsuya?” Hanamiya asks, speaking like a mother would to a child.

“…So you found out my identity,” Kuroko says, like he didn’t expect his high school basketball arch-enemy to recognize him from voice alone, walking to the center of the pentagram while polishing a machete knife with a blood-stained cloth.

“This,” he continues, “Is exactly what it looks like. I lost someone important to me, and I intend to get him back.”

“So you’re going to sacrifice my soul to an unholy god.”

“Yes, precisely. I’m glad you understand.”

Seemingly pleased with his polishing work, the blue-haired boy puts the knife level with Hanamiya’s throat, planning his strike. Is he… is he _serious?_

“Woah, woah, wait a minute,” Hanamiya blurts, looking around frantically for a camera and finding none, “What the fuck do I have to do with this?”

Kuroko pauses, thinking about an answer. Fidgeting with the knife and looking aside, he says, “I suppose you were the most conveniently located.”

“If you’re going to say bullshit at least don’t make it so obvious!”

The shadow clears his throat. “Anyway.”

“Oi!”

“I’m sorry Hanamiya-kun,” says Kuroko, though he’s very clearly not, “But I must have him back.”

_What kind of prank is this?_

“I know what you’re thinking, and trust me when I say I still don’t have a sense of humor. This blood is very real,” Kuroko helps, reading his face like a book. “I’ve been practicing with conjuring lesser demons, too, so please believe I will finish the job.”

“Does—does that say _‘the emperor shall rise from the ashes’_ on the floor in _Latin_? What _the fuck_ , Tetsuya?”

“Akashi-kun shall return to me.”

Oh my god, he’s going to _die._ He’s going to die and nobody will know because (a) the police can’t even see the murderer, and (b) nobody will call the police in the first place because he’s an ass. More importantly, he’s going to die at the hands of Kuroko Tetsuya. What’s the quickest way he can write _‘it was the shadow with the machete in the basement’_ on the floor?

These thoughts jumbling in his head, Hanamiya requests, “Can I just say something really quickly?”

Kuroko nods.

“I don’t regret breaking Kiyoshi’s knee.”

Just as Kuroko readies his knife, they hear knocking on the door. “Kuroko? Kuroko, are you in there?”

Oh my god, speak of the devil. It’s Akashi.

“Please don’t try another ritual! It was hard enough to explain Haizaki’s situation…”

“You tried this on _Haizaki Shougo_ ,” Hanamiya says, “You’re totally doing this out of spite!”

“Wrong. I’m doing this out of love.”

Akashi pounds on the door again. “Kuroko, if you want him back, I can try to reach out to him again? Maybe one-on-one with Aomine in basketball or something? We don’t have to resort to murder.”

Tears well up in Kuroko’s eyes, and he drops the knife. “Don’t you think I know that!?”

Is Hanamiya in a fucking _soap opera_ right now?

Kuroko opens the door and starts crying into Akashi’s waiting arms. “I just miss him so much, Akashi-kun.”

“I know. I miss him too,” Akashi says, petting Kuroko’s hair. “But murder isn’t always the best solution.”

 _Always?_ Did he just throw an always in there?

Kuroko sniffs. “Do you think he misses us?”

“I don’t know. He might, or he might have forgotten us and gone on ghost vacation in Hawaii with Mayuzumi-senpai’s life ambitions and Aomine's humility. I just hope he’s okay.”

“Me too,” Kuroko says quietly, hugging Akashi.

“I’m _still here_ ,” Hanamiya yells.

“Do you think we could just try the ritual? One more time?” Kuroko asks, looking into Akashi’s eyes.

Akashi sighs. “For you, love? Anything.”

Wait, what.

“Sorry, Hanamiya-san, but please say any prayers you may have now,” Akashi smiles.

Kuroko walks back into the room and picks up the knife.

_WHAT?_

**Author's Note:**

> bye bye fucko


End file.
